- 1) Don't believe in wizards - In spite of the overwhelming evidence contradicting this assertion there is still a large group of "non-believers" or "nay sayers". Be my guest, go with this strategy and see if you don't end up as dragon dessert.
- 2) Clear your throat - It is hypothesized that the effects of air pollution cause a high percentage of unborn spell casters to develop ADD. Already an estimated 20% of spell-casters can be distracted by a mildly annoying gesture.
- 3) Run away! - Any spell worth crying over takes at least 5 rounds to cast. This gives you more than enough time to escape the area. Just make sure you resist the urge to skirmish with the lumbering body guard.
- 4) Use a Mirror Shield - Link has long known how to parry the endless onslaught of dark sorcery using the coveted Mirror Shield. Simply hide behind this shiny device and watch spells bounce back to the caster.
-
- 5) Have an expendable familiar - Cute puppies are perfect inconspicuous creatures that are trainable and willing to go forth and take the brute of a nasty fireball. Ok ok, you must think I'm a monster. Find an ugly puppy if it helps you sleep better at night.
- 6) Troll apparition joke - It is great fun walking a troll apparition into a wizard library and watching the chaos unfold through an orb of clairvoyance. It's common to wage on the number of fireballs vs the number of acid arrows cast. Unfortunately this practice is now considered "illegal" by the smelly paladins guild.
- 7) Throw a beer bottle at the mage - It is a well known fact that 35% of all unsanctioned magic, cast with lethal intent, occurs within the walls of a tavern. Beer bottles are handy projectiles with sufficient weight to cause distracting damage on a direct hit, a shattering noise distraction on a near miss and if the flying object arrives late to the party the reflective surface may refract the painful magical tendrils.
- 8) Wait and see what happens - Mages are well known for their good humor. It is somewhat likely they just want to turn you into a newt, a sheep or some other hilariously improbable creature.
- 9) Prepare a counterspell - Believe me, nothing is more frustrating than spending half the day collecting fairy berries and grinding dragon scales only to have your devilish contraption fizzle as it leaves your fingertips. It makes you want to give up and just become a plumber. It worked for Mario...
- 10) Make fart noises - It's pretty much universal, sorcerers either find this distractingly funny or distractingly annoying.
